Nobody has to say anything if you dont want to. I completely understand. I dont talk about this much cause it makes me sad but I wanted to have this written down while its still new to me.

I just woke up from a dream with my mom in it. I dont have many of them. I cant count them on one hand. I never have lucid dreams either, as soon as I saw my mom I felt sad and it seemed like something wasnt right but it passed quickly. My dad was there too and it was some kind of party. I knew all my friends were there but no one specific. The whole dream had the feeling of the day I graduated high school. I was hanging out with my mom a lot and it was crazy and fun like when we used to drink together. I think we even had a heart to heart but I cant recall exactly what it was about. I was having a good time.

I woke up in a daze and saw my text light blinking on my phone next to me on my bed. When I went to send a reply to the wicked funny one I got I had no service and I always have 3 or 4 bars in my room but there was nothing at all. It came back a few minutes later.

I really miss my mom. I also havent cried in years.

I always told myself that I would never be happy working on cars for a living. I always put it off as a hobby and pursued, never sucessfully, other paths for making a living. I think this was and is a big mistake. Im good. Better than most. I know how things work and how to fix them and it comes naturally. I basically kick serious ass when it comes to repairing and modifying cars. I taught most of it to myself since I like to work by myself most of the time. I have no fear of doing anything to a vehicle no matter how involved or complicated. I am going to take the plunge and become an ASE certified master technition with the intent of starting a kickass buisness of my own. Im going to up and move to Jacksonville, FL. Im going to get an apartment and a job and after 6 months (once I become a resident) Im going to sign up at FCC in Jax for the automotive course. Its 2 years combined with and internship at a nearby dealership. Once I gain a few years experience working for someone Im going out on my own doing what I want for a buisness. By the end of this summer I am out. Im going to work my ass off for myself, get out of dodge and do what I have to do. I see much Ramen noodles and mac and cheese in the future along with a little sun and some grease on my arms. Florida here I come.

Mother don't worry, I killed the last snake that lived in the creek bed
Mother don't worry, I've got some money I saved for the weekend
Mother remember being so stern with that girl who was with me?
Mother remember the blink of an eye when I breathed through your body?

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds, flying upward over the mountain

Mother I made it up from the bruise on the floor of this prison
Mother I lost it, all of the fear of the Lord I was given
Mother forget me now that the creek drank the cradle you sang to
Mother forgive me, I sold your car for the shoes that I gave you

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons could be birds, taken broken up to the mountain

Mother don't worry, I've got a coat and some friends on the corner
Mother don't worry, she's got a garden we're planting together
Mother remember the night that the dog got her pups in the pantry?
Blood on the floor, fleas on their paws,
And you cried 'til the morning

So may the sunrise bring hope where it once was forgotten
Sons are like birds, flying always over the mountain

On Oct. 29, 2004, just four days before the U.S. presidential election, al-Qaeda leader Osama bin-Laden released a videotape denouncing George W. Bush. Some Bush supporters quickly spun the diatribe as “Osama’s endorsement of John Kerry.” But behind the walls of the CIA, analysts had concluded the opposite: that bin-Laden was trying to help Bush gain a second term.

This stunning CIA disclosure is tucked away in a brief passage near the end of Ron Suskind’s The One Percent Doctrine, which draws heavily from CIA insiders. Suskind wrote that the CIA analysts based their troubling assessment on classified information, but the analysts still puzzled over exactly why bin-Laden wanted Bush to stay in office.

According to Suskind’s book, CIA analysts had spent years “parsing each expressed word of the al-Qaeda leader and his deputy, [Ayman] Zawahiri. What they’d learned over nearly a decade is that bin-Laden speaks only for strategic reasons. …

“Their [the CIA’s] assessments, at day’s end, are a distillate of the kind of secret, internal conversations that the American public [was] not sanctioned to hear: strategic analysis. Today’s conclusion: bin-Laden’s message was clearly designed to assist the President’s reelection.

“At the five o’clock meeting, [deputy CIA director] John McLaughlin opened the issue with the consensus view: ‘Bin-Laden certainly did a nice favor today for the President.’”

McLaughlin’s comment drew nods from CIA officers at the table. Jami Miscik, CIA deputy associate director for intelligence, suggested that the al-Qaeda founder may have come to Bush’s aid because bin-Laden felt threatened by the rise in Iraq of Jordanian terrorist Abu Musab al-Zarqawi; bin-Laden might have thought his leadership would be diminished if Bush lost the White House and their “eye-to-eye struggle” ended.

But the CIA analysts also felt that bin-Laden might have recognized how Bush’s policies – including the Guantanamo prison camp, the Abu Ghraib scandal and the endless bloodshed in Iraq – were serving al-Qaeda’s strategic goals for recruiting a new generation of jihadists.

“Certainly,” the CIA’s Miscik said, “he would want Bush to keep doing what he’s doing for a few more years,” according to Suskind’s account of the meeting.

As their internal assessment sank in, the CIA analysts drifted into silence, troubled by the implications of their own conclusions. “An ocean of hard truths before them – such as what did it say about U.S. policies that bin-Laden would want Bush reelected – remained untouched,” Suskind wrote.

One immediate consequence of bin-Laden breaking nearly a year of silence to issue the videotape the weekend before the U.S. presidential election was to give the Bush campaign a much needed boost. From a virtual dead heat, Bush opened up a six-point lead, according to one poll.

Symbiotic Relationship

The implications of this new evidence are troubling, too, for the American people as they head toward another election in November 2006 that also is viewed as a referendum on Bush’s prosecution of the “war on terror.”

As we have reported previously at Consortiumnews.com, a large body of evidence already existed supporting the view that the Bushes and the bin-Ladens have long operated with a symbiotic relationship that may be entirely unspoken but nevertheless has been a case of each family acting in ways that advance the interests of the other. [See “Osama’s Briar Patch” or “Is Bush al-Qaeda's 'Useful Idiot?'”]

Before al-Qaeda launched the Sept. 11, 2001, terror attacks against New York and Washington, Bush was stumbling in a presidency that many Americans felt was headed nowhere. As Bush took a month-long vacation at his Texas ranch in August 2001, his big issue was a plan to restrict stem-cell research on moral grounds.

Privately, Bush’s neoconservative advisers were chafing under what they saw as the complacency of the American people unwilling to take on the mantle of global policeman as the world’s sole superpower. The neocons hoped for some “Pearl Harbor” incident that would galvanize a public consensus for action against Iraq and other “rogue states.”

Other senior administration officials, such as Vice President Dick Cheney, dreamed of the restoration of the imperial presidency that – after Richard Nixon’s Watergate scandal – had been cut down to size by Congress, the courts and the press. Only a national crisis would create a cover for a new assertion of presidential power.

Meanwhile, halfway around the world, bin-Laden and his al-Qaeda militants were facing defeat after defeat. Their brand of Islamic fundamentalism had been rejected in Muslim societies from Algeria and Egypt to Saudi Arabia and Jordan. Bin-Laden and his lieutenants had even been expelled from the Sudan.

Bin-Laden’s extremists had been chased to the farthest corners of the planet, in this case the caves of Afghanistan. At this critical juncture, al-Qaeda’s brain trust decided that their best hope was to strike at the United States and count on a clumsy reaction that would offend the Islamic world and rally angry young Muslims to al-Qaeda’s banner.

So, by early summer 2001, the clock ticked down to 9/11 as 19 al-Qaeda operatives positioned themselves inside the United States and prepared to attack. But U.S. intelligence analysts picked up evidence of al-Qaeda’s plans by sifting through the “chatter” of electronic intercepts. The U.S. warning system was “blinking red.”

‘Something So Big’

Over the weekend of July Fourth 2001, a well-placed U.S. intelligence source passed on a disturbing piece of information to then-New York Times reporter Judith Miller, who later recounted the incident in an interview with Alternet.

“The person told me that there was some concern about an intercept that had been picked up,” Miller said. “The incident that had gotten everyone’s attention was a conversation between two members of al-Qaeda. And they had been talking to one another, supposedly expressing disappointment that the United States had not chosen to retaliate more seriously against what had happened to the [destroyer USS] Cole [which was bombed on Oct. 12, 2000].

“And one al-Qaeda operative was overheard saying to the other, ‘Don’t worry; we’re planning something so big now that the U.S. will have to respond.’”

In the Alternet interview, published in May 2006 after Miller resigned from the Times, the reporter expressed regret that she had not been able to nail down enough details about the intercept to get the story into the newspaper.

But the significance of her recollection is that more than two months before the 9/11 attacks, the CIA knew that al-Qaeda was planning a major attack with the intent of inciting a U.S. military reaction – or in this case, an overreaction.

The CIA tried to warn Bush about the threat on Aug. 6, 2001, with the hope that presidential action could energize government agencies and head off the attack. The CIA sent analysts to his ranch in Crawford, Texas, to brief him and deliver a report entitled “Bin Laden Determined to Strike in US.”

Bush was not pleased by the intrusion. He glared at the CIA briefer and snapped, “All right, you’ve covered your ass,” according to Suskind’s book.

Then, putting the CIA’s warning in the back of his mind and ordering no special response, Bush returned to a vacation of fishing, clearing brush and working on a speech about stem-cell research.

Al-Qaeda’s Gamble

For its part, al-Qaeda was running a risk that the United States might strike a precise and devastating blow against the terrorist organization, eliminating it as an effective force without alienating much of the Muslim world.

If that happened, the cause of Islamic extremism could have been set back years, without eliciting much sympathy from most Muslims for a band of killers who wantonly murdered innocent civilians.

After the 9/11 attacks, al-Qaeda’s gamble almost failed as the CIA, backed by U.S. Special Forces, ousted bin-Laden’s Taliban allies in Afghanistan and cornered much of the al-Qaeda leadership in the mountains of Tora Bora near the Pakistani border.

But instead of using U.S. ground troops to seal the border, Bush relied on the Pakistani army, which was known to have mixed sympathies about al-Qaeda. The Pakistani army moved its blocking force belatedly into position while bin-Laden and others from his inner circle escaped.

Then, instead of staying focused on bin-Laden and his fellow fugitives, Bush moved on to other objectives. Bush shifted U.S. Special Forces away from bin-Laden and al-Qaeda and toward Saddam Hussein and Iraq.

Many U.S. terrorism experts, including White House counterterrorism czar Richard Clarke, were shocked at this strategy, since the intelligence community didn’t believe that Hussein’s secular dictatorship had any working relationship with al-Qaeda – and had no role in the 9/11 attacks.

Nevertheless, Bush ordered an invasion of Iraq on March 19, 2003, ousting Hussein from power but also unleashing mayhem across Iraqi society. Soon, the Iraq War – combined with controversies over torture and mistreatment of Muslim detainees – were serving as recruitment posters for al-Qaeda.

Under Jordanian exile Zarqawi, al-Qaeda set up terrorist cells in central Iraq, taking root amid the weeds of sectarian violence and the nation’s general anarchy. Instead of an obscure group of misfits, al-Qaeda was achieving legendary status among many Muslims as the defenders of the Islamic holy lands, battling the new “crusaders” led by Bush.

Back in the USA

Meanwhile, back in the United States, the 9/11 attacks had allowed Bush to reinvent himself as the “war president” who operated almost without oversight. He saw his approval ratings surge from the 50s to the 90s – and watched as the Republican Party consolidated its control of the U.S. Congress in 2002.

Though the worsening bloodshed in Iraq eroded Bush’s popularity in 2004, political adviser Karl Rove still framed the election around Bush’s aggressive moves to defend the United States and to punish American enemies.

Whereas Bush was supposedly resolute, Democrat Kerry was portrayed as weak and indecisive, a “flip-flopper.” Kerry, however, scored some political points in the presidential debates by citing the debacle at Tora Bora that enabled bin-Laden to escape.

The race was considered neck-and-neck as it turned toward the final weekend of campaigning. Then, the shimmering image of Osama bin-Laden appeared on American televisions, speaking directly to the American people, mocking Bush and offering a kind of truce if U.S. forces withdrew from the Middle East.

“He [Bush] was more interested in listening to the child’s story about the goat rather than worry about what was happening to the [twin] towers,” bin-Laden said. “So, we had three times the time necessary to accomplish the events. Your security is not in the hands of Kerry or Bush or al-Qaeda. Your security is in your own hands. Any nation that does not attack us will not be attacked.”

Though both Bush and Kerry denounced bin-Laden’s statement, right-wing pundits, bloggers and talk-show hosts portrayed it as an effort to hurt Bush and help Kerry – which understandably prompted the exact opposite reaction among many Americans. [For instance, conservative blog site, Little Green Footballs, headlined its Oct. 31, 2004, commentary as “Bin Laden Threatens U.S. States Not to Vote for Bush.”]

However, behind the walls of secrecy at Langley, Virginia, U.S. intelligence experts reviewed the evidence and concluded that bin-Laden had precisely the opposite intent. He was fully aware that his videotape would encourage the American people to do the opposite of what he recommended.

By demanding an American surrender, bin-Laden knew U.S. voters would instinctively want to fight. That way bin-Laden helped ensure that George W. Bush would stay in power, would continue his clumsy “war on terror” – and would drive thousands of new recruits into al-Qaeda’s welcoming arms.

Got my windows tinted in my Beetle finally. Ive been wanting to do it since I got the car. I removed all my stickers for a clean look. Ill get better pictures someday when I feel like it, I took these with my phone. Ill be putting all the stickers on the winter beater that I got. A 1983 Honda Accord Ive named Stella the Stinky Slow Shitbox.

Well, after waiting so long to see Over the Hedge I was not let down. Dreamworks did it again. I ended up seeing it by myself on Friday since Zoes dad wouldnt let her out of the house after work. Then I saw it again with Lauren on Saturday since she was home from Canada. I loved it! It was funny and had some parts that got me choked up a little. I think I might see it again before it comes out on video if Zoe will be able to ever go see it. Heres some pictures from the movie that I stole from Yahoo!

 

I already got my tickets. I visit the webpage and watch the previews and videos about 3 times a day. Ive been waiting for this movie to come out for about a year when I saw the previews at March of the Penguins. I LOVE cartoons, Ice Age is one of my favorite movies ever and this one should be the best because it has a SKUNK in it! I cant wait, I hope Im not let down. I dont think so, it has a lot of awesome actors doing the voices, Steve Carell is the squirrel, Bruce Willis is the raccoon and Wanda Sykes is the skunk and I think shes wicked funny. I think Ill also like it because it makes light of American suburbian "culture". How we take over with building houses everywhere and the amount of food that we eat and take for granted. Come hell or high water I will be in East Windsor at 9:55 Friday to see it!

Check out the website: www.overthehedgemovie.com

They now have PBR on tap at the watering hole that everyone goes to after work. I mean that place kicked ass already. I love the Ribbon!

Ive been wanting to buy this movie for about 10 years now. I FINALLY remembered when I was at the store last night. It was marked $9.99 and rung up $6.99, perfect timing. I cant wait to watch it again, theres awesome bands from the grunge era in it. One of my all time favorite movies. I named my skunk Chloe after "Chloe Dance" from it.

I just got this album last night and it is amazing! I heard these guys on XM a couple years ago and should have gone with my instinct and got the CD then.I limewired a few songs recently and thats what promted me to get the album. Ive been missing out. Im definatly getting their other albums as my next few CD purchases, along with some Postal Service who I also limewired and are pretty good.

I love the commercial for the Prius with Kermit the Frog "It aint easy being green". Because it is, using 100 year old simple diesel technology. Below is a chart of the VOC output comparing a 2005 Toyota Prius and a 2005 Volkswagen Jetta TDI. On top of the fact that it takes much less energy and emissions (I dont have the figure handy at work) to refine crude oil into D2 diesel fuel than it does to refine it into gasoline. It is also a fact that since diesels extremely lean air/fuel ratios, inherent to the design, they put out far less greehouse gases (HCs and CO2) per mile than a comparable gasoline engine. Add to this the ability for any diesel engine (some built before 1993 may need upgrades to rubber components in the fuel system) to run on biodiesel made from any number of animal and vegetable oils reducing our reliance on middle eastern oil. All this without the extra hassle of battery pack replacement and integrated electric motors. The black smoke (and smell) that you see coming out of some diesels is caused by sulpher added to the fuel to lubricate injection pumps and injectors. This will be going away this September due to a law calling for the US to use ULSD or Ultra Low Sulpher Diesel. Europe beat us to this by years, all they do is simply add 5% biodiesel to the mix and you get all the lubrication you need.

Im up to 205 miles as of this morning and still a tick above 3/4 of a tank.

***************************************************************

VOC emission comparison (including upstream directly responsible for) (per 15,000 miles [~1 year]):

Gasoline-hybrid model Prius (AT-PZEV – using 2005 EPA cert data)

– tailpipe emissions = 0.009 g/mile x 15,000 miles = 135 grams VOCs

- evaporative emissions from vehicle ("running loss") = near zero grams VOCs (PZEV)

- evaporative emissions “sitting” in driveway/garage = near zero grams VOCs (PZEV)

- evaporative emissions while refueling (controlled @ 95% control efficiency) = 15,000 miles/654 miles between fill ups = 23 times x 2.97 g VOC emissions per fill up = 68.3 grams VOCs

- Load loss evaporative emissions (controlled) = 5454 g/8000 gallon transfer; 273 gallons (used in 15,000 miles "combined" mileage)/8000 x 5454 grams = 186.1 grams VOCs

Total VOC emissions directly responsible for – 389.4 grams
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Diesel Jetta TDI Model (2005 Bin 10 auto)

– tailpipe emissions = 0.0123 g/mile x 15,000 miles = 184.5 grams VOCs

- evaporative emissions from vehicle = near zero grams VOCs

- evaporative emissions “sitting” in driveway/garage = near zero grams VOCs

- evaporative emissions while refueling (uncontrolled) = 15,000 miles/522 miles between fill ups = 29 times x 0.15 g VOC emissions per fill up = 4.35 grams VOCs

- Load loss evaporative emissions (controlled) = 20 g/8000 gallon transfer; 417 gallons (used in 15,000 miles "combined" mileage)/8000 x 20 grams = 1.04 grams VOCs

Total VOC emissions responsible for – 189.9 grams

Therefore, Prius is directly responsible for 199.5 more grams or more than twice the VOCs than the TDI.

The weather outside today kicked so much ass. It was sunny and 46 degrees but it felt like 80 degrees. I started the Mustang today, washed her and drove around. The car is so badass. It will smoke the tires off the rims or if your careful and do it right you can get about a 6.5 second 0 to 60 mph time with it. Insane for a car thats 21 years old and 99% stock. Saturday may be new shocks day for the old girl, she needs them.

I think Im finally settled down enough with my car that I can use it for whats its meant for. Miles per gallon. But if youve ever driven a turbo-diesel before you know that it can be quite fun. I did things to mine so thats its tuned very nice with perfomance upgrades and last fill up was the first time I was able to resist holding the fast pedal to the floor all the time. My previous best MPG was 53.75. From Hartford CT I drove to within 100 miles or so of the South Carolina border. 763 miles and the low fuel light had not even come on yet, but I had to pee. I think I can make 650-700 miles with my commute to work which is 50/50, highway/city. As long as Im careful and drive 55. After this picture Im going to try to do each 100 miles with my car for this tank of fuel, real time on B4M. See you at 265 miles...

I cant help it. I read way too much about Global Warming and Peak Oil. Both world (human kind) ending subjects. Both of these things no one but a small group of people seem to know or care about. Americans would rather keep track of whats happening in the Natalie Halloway case and who Angelina Jolie is marrying next. Both completely inconsequential to anyones daily life. Our climate and energy problems will have a direct and harsh impact on everyone in the worlds daily life but people want to pretend things like that could never happen and pretend that they wont. I used to think these people were onto something. Ignorance (and ignoring) was bliss. Not true. Being a cynical, informed bastard gives me a distinct advantage when it comes to deciding whats important. I have no doubts about what makes it worth getting out of bed everyday. Waking up next to sleeping skunks in funny positions, wrapped around my head or leaning on me with all four legs in the air. Driving around. Spending time with family like having a beer with my dad or playing with legos with my little brother, going to the store to buy TP with my sis. Hanging out with friends and partying. Every single sunny day.

This whole thought was caused by a sandwich I got yesterday. As I was driving home and eating it it occured to me that the sandwich was uninspired. Not a bad sandwich, just uninspired with only turkey, cheese and mayo. It got me to thinking about how I feel at this peticular space in time. I was let down by not getting the job in Florida and even more let down by what happened with the non-profit skunk organization. Ever since these let downs of things I wanted so bad I have felt uninspired. Right now I am turkey, cheese and mayo, getting the job done in a tasty way but Im missing the zest of the ever inspiring onions and pickles. Are you following any of this? I thought I might be profound but it seems that Im just thinking out loud. I still want to move, I need to do my own thing but it might not be Florida anymore, seems like it is impossible for me to move there and there must be a reason why. As long as an anti-exotic bill does not get passed in South Carolina Im considering possibly Greenville. Aside from the bible-thumpers its a pretty nice place, skunks are legal and its just granola enough for me. I already know some people there too. The VW bus I want is there so I wouldnt have to travel far to fix it up.

One of the ways I play with my skunks is to hold their tails and follow them around while they try to get away and pretend that they are little fuzzy pear-shaped vacuum cleaners. If thats not inspiring I dont know what is. Ill have to do some of that when I get home and see if I get some inspiration or maybe a message, like tea leaves but in furry on-my-bedroom carpet form.

Woohoo! I was just voted onto the board of directors today of a new skunk group tentatively called APSS (American Pet Skunk Society). It is being formed from the dissolution and takeover of ADSA. The president, along with some others were voted out on sunday. One of the names up for vote to call the new group is American Skunk Society, you do the math

I finally got to do my timing belt this weekend. Nothing exciting but after I started taking it apart I realized it had never been done. It was supposed to be done at 60k, I got the car with 68k on it and I thought it had been done. I finally did it at 85k, 25k over. If it had broken the engine would have stopped and would have been destroyed. Its the nicest car Ive ever owned and Ive never owed so much money on something so I want to keep it as long as possible. Not only that Ive been to Florida and South Carolina a couple of times each with it. I cant imagine breaking down with this car in the middle of redneckville with anti-war and hippie stickers on it. I would have to have Chuck Norris-like skills to make it out of there alive. Anyway here is page six of my car page with one sexy picture of me in it. Check it out:

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/2236790/6

I bought my first Mac the other day off of eBay for an awesome price. Its supposed to be here tomorrow and I cant wait to see how it works. Ever since I used a Mac in college for graphic design Ive wanted one. It comes with some cool ass software too like some video-editing and such, rock on

The citrus engine cleaner works awesome! I replaced the rubber in the dog-bone motor mount with polyurethane since the power I added destroyed it. Holy vibration. Shifting is 100% better though so Im keeping it. I also put a chrome exhaust tip to add some bling. You can kinda see it in the last picture. More work and pictures coming this weekend. Heres my cars page:

http://www.cardomain.com/ride/2236790/1

If you like stand up comedy check out Dane Cook. He is funny as hell.

http://www.danecook.com/main.php