A dialogue between a liberal and a conservative

(Stolen from omegachimp on Live Journal)

"Stop peeing on me."
"I beg your pardon?"
"I said stop peeing on me."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about the stream of urine running from your penis to my head. I'd like for it to stop."
"Oh, that... What is it that's bothering you about it?"
"What's bothering me about it? The fact that it exists, of course. I'd much prefer that it didn't."
"Oh, that can't be it. Surely there's something beyond its mere existence that's irking you; I mean, you don't blame the stars for shining, do you?"
"Well, no - but then the stars are pretty and they don't smell like pee."
"So that's it, is it? I suppose there's no place in the world for ugly things, is there? I imagine you'd have everyone who didn't fit in with your tidy picture of a perfect little world shoved into concentration camps and gassed."
"Don't be absurd. There wouldn't be any point in gassing pee - you'd just turn it into soda."
"Oh, so it's a question of practicality, is it? You'd be all for gassing my urine if it were a living, breathing person standing in the way of your vision of an aesthetically appealing reality, wouldn't you? You filthy little Nazi."
"I'm not a Nazi, I just don't like being peed on. So if you don't mind, I'd appreciate it if you would stop peeing on me."
"And I would appreciate it if you would stop being such a bigot."
"What?"
"You heard me. I'm sick of people like you, trying to impose your social norms and aesthetic values on everybody else - why don't you keep your laws off of my body?"
"Why don't you keep your pee off of my body? And how have you managed to keep peeing for this long? What, did you swallow a trough full of water or something?"
"I'm a Buddhist."
"Then why do you have a Star of David around your neck?"
"It's a Star of Buddha."
"A Star of Buddha? There's no such thing."
"Are you a Buddhist?"
"No."
"Then shut up."
"STOP PEEING ON ME!"
"Oh, fine then. There, I've stopped."
"Thank you."
"Your welcome... You know, I would have kept going. I just ran out of pee."
"I know - have you got a towel?"